Sorry, this isn't about YouTube

I recently turned 40. A close friend told me to write this email. He said I owe it to myself in case one point helped one person. Goddamn it… he's right.

The whole "lessons learned" genre makes me cringe and dry heave. Most of it reads like a LinkedIn carousel that escaped containment from Yemen.

40 years is a lot of swings, a lot of misses, a lot of times I thought I had something figured out only to discover I'd been holding the map upside down, covered in jam, chasing a dwarf through the shrubbery.

In no particular order. Some will land, some won't. Pick what's yours!

1. My dad raised me to believe anything was possible. He was right.

2. We spend our lives worried what people think of us. They're not thinking of us. They're worried what we think of them.

3. People will fake integrity to your face and act like cowards behind your back. It's not personal. They're just scared and bad at hiding it.

4. Compound interest works in more areas of life than just money.

5. Everyone's just doing their best. It's their first playthrough of life too.

6. The government isn't your friend or there to help.

7. The people you look up to don't have it together. I've seen behind the curtain, they’re as messed up as you.

8. Equality is a myth. Harmony is the way.

9. Meet people where they meet you. I spent years checking in on people who never checked back. I stopped. Best decision I ever made.

10. Life isn't fair and no one is coming. That's the good news, by the way.

11. You don't have to do anything in life. You get to.

12. Lift heavy things before you can't.

13. I'd rather be poor and fit than fat, weak and rich. Personally, I chose rich and fit. Recommend it.

14. Seek discomfort daily. It's where the gold is.

15. Sleep is the greatest health hack there is.

16. I wish I'd started training every day at 20 instead of 32. Twelve years of compounding I'll never get back. Start now, whatever now is.

17. Every year, do something that challenges you physically beyond your limits. Don't post about it, it nullifies it instantly.

18. Optimise your life for time freedom, not money.

19. Be the stupidest person in the room. It's the only way you grow.

20. Never post your kids online. If you do, you don't deserve kids. They didn't consent to your like farming.

21. If you don't have kids, you can't give life advice to the masses. Sorry!

22. Fitness over everything. It's how you inspire your kids. They don't read your books. They watch you.

23. I’ve never seen Titanic or Lord of the Rings. Not a lesson, just thought to mention.

24. If someone's late or flakes, assume the best and hope they're ok. The story you make up in the meantime costs you more than the wait.

25. Never lend money to anyone unless you're ok never seeing it again. If you are, give it. If you aren't, don't. There is no third option.

26. Having kids is the greatest wakeup call there is. Like going from black and white to technicolour overnight.

27. The friends who only call when they need something aren't your friends. They're a recurring invoice treating you like a cash piñata.

28. You're allowed to outgrow people who were good to you. They're allowed to outgrow you too. Nobody has to be the villain.

29. Everything will always workout and be ok. Just keep writing your story, not an ending.

30. Relationship building is the most valuable skill you can master but it has to be real. The performative version has a shelf life.

31. Some people will leave your life for no reason. That's ok. Closure is a thing you give yourself, not something they owe you.

32. I've got 5 people I'd trust my life with. I only recently realised most people don't have one.

33. The more offensive your friends are to you, the more they love you.

34. Who you are and what you do matters more than who you f*ck. Drop the gender and sexuality bullsh*t and go build something. (There are only 2 genders).

35. You owe your past self nothing. The promises you made at 25 about who you'd become at 40 were made by someone who didn't know what he was talking about.

36. Beware people who treat relationships like transactions. They'll count what they gave you but they'll never count what you gave them. You'll only hear from them when their auto calendar reminder reminds them you exist.

37. If you can't enjoy being alone, no one will ever enjoy being with you.

38. Great things happen to bad people. Horrific things happen to good people. Life is a beautiful chaos. Make peace with it.

39. I lost everything at 23. Best thing that ever happened to me, though it took ten years to see it. The fire didn't destroy me. It forged me. The kid who walked through it isn't around anymore. He doesn't need to be, but I owe him this email. Thank you, mate. Rest easy.

40. When you stop laughing at farts, you're already dead.

I know I'll look back on this list in years to come and laugh at how naive I was, but for now, here we are.

Me